Managing Stress During the Holidays

Last night, the St. Matthias Employment Ministry presented a short program called "Managing Stress During the Holidays."

For those who wanted to come, or for anyone interested in what was covered, here are some of the key points.

Managing Stress During the Holidays

Stress is a fact of life. In moderate amounts, stress can energize you. It can be "the spice of life." Too much chronic stress, however, can take a toll on you...and even make you sick.

At this time of year, when so many are celebrating the holidays, some may feel the weight of stress even more heavily, especially those who are out of work, under-employed, or unhappy in a job.

For all of those, and anyone else feeling stressed, here are some recommended ways to manage the stress of the holidays:

Breathe - Practice deep slow breathing.

Imagine - Visualize what you seek.

Think - Think loving thoughts.

Positive - Focus on the positive.

Kindness - Respond to others with kindness.

Time - Manage your time better. Set priorities. Determine what can wait.

Flexibility - Be flexible, be reasonable.

Avoid - Avoid people or situations you find stressful.

Escape - Into a book, or a movie. Listen to music.

Talk - Express yourself. Don’t bottle feelings up. Talk it out with a friend.

Write - Express your thoughts and feelings. Keep a journal.

Notice - What tends to trigger stress in you?

Boundaries - Say “no”. Don't take it personally. Step back.

Expectations - Adjust expectations. Be realistic. Nobody is perfect.

Perspective - Put it in perspective.

Breaks - Take a break.

Quiet - Find quiet time.

Attitude - Maintain a positive attitude.

Relax - Trigger your own relaxation response in whatever way you like best. Lay in a hammock. Sit in a comfy chair with music on.

Meditate - You can pray if you like. Or just ponder a pleasant, positive thought while sitting quietly and comfortably.

Friends - Spend quality time with people who are special to you.

Sleep - The antidote to stress is good restful sleep. Even naps in the afternoon can be beneficial too.

Exercise - Walking will get you started. Then dance, swim, run etc. Yoga and Tai Chi count too.

Laugh - Laughter and exercise release endorphins, the body's own natural pleasure hormones.

Food - Eat healthy. Watch what you eat.

And finally some words of wisdom on stress:

“Our greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another.” – William James

“It's not stress that kills us, it is our reaction to it.” – Hans Selye, author of The Stress of Life and Stress Without Distress

If you would like to schedule this or a similar program for your group, let me know. You can reach me at thseamon@yahoo.com or (732) 246-3014.

Terrence H. Seamon is an organization development consultant who provides leadership and team development services to employers in New Jersey. His book Lead the Way explores the challenges of leadership. Additionally, Terry is a job search and career coach whose book To Your Success provides a motivational guide for anyone in transition. An alumnus of PSG, Terry co-founded and co-moderates the St. Matthias Employment Ministry in Somerset, NJ. He can be reached at thseamon@yahoo.com and via his website: http://about.me/terrenceseamon

Posted by Terrence seamon on December 18, 2012

Take the LIFT

If you are in job search, you probably have an elevator speech. You know, the short spiel designed to succinctly convey Who you are and What you have to offer.

Having a well-rehearsed elevator speech comes in handy throughout an active job search, whenever you are talking with others, be it at a job fair, networking meeting, trade show, professional conference or even standing on line at the supermarket.

(For those who are curious, or are having difficulty with your own, here is a neat little website for writing an elevator speech.)

Well, at a job search support group last night, one of the participants said that she had never heard of the concept, but that she had heard of a "lift speech."

As we talked further, it became apparent that the two ideas are one and the same, since a lift is a term also used for an elevator.

Always on the lookout for synchronicities, it immediately occurred to me that the word lift can give the job hunter an edge:

L = Look ahead: Your speech should look ahead, not back to the past. "What I can do for your organization" vs "I used to be...until I was let go." Be positive and future focused rather than dredging up the past.

I = Inspire: Don't be so modest that you keep your talents hidden. Roll out one or more of them in short one-liners such as "At [Company Name], I introduced five new products in one year." Convey the potential that you possess.

F = Focus: Though you probably have a fascinating life story, do not try to tell it all. Be selective. Consultant and speaker Kenny Moore, the former monk and best-selling author, says think of this process as a strip-tease where you want to reveal yourself sparingly.

T = Turn it around: Stop talking and ask the other person about them. Turn it into a conversation. Show interest in who they are and they will be more motivated to ask you some follow up questions.

So be sure to take the LIFT on your way to success!

Posted by Terrence Seamon on Friday October 26, 2012

Three Questions for the Next You

Today, a colleague sent out a desperate plea for advice, saying that she was despondent in her current job, and ready to quit.

I wonder how many in today's workplaces are feeling the same way? Some surveys put the number at 60% or higher that are looking to leave their current spots, hoping for greener pastures someplace else.

If you are in this predicament, I have three questions to help you start thinking about the move you want to make.

1. What work do you really want to do?

2. What obstacles are standing in your way?

3. What is calling you?

Let's take a closer look at these three.

First, I would ask, What work would you really like to be doing? Do you want to stay in your chosen field? Or do you want to branch out into another?

Articulating your vision for yourself, and the work you aspire to do, is a critical step in the direction you want to go. Each of us has been gifted with skills and talents. Putting those gifts to good use is one of the keys to happiness and success.

Second, I would ask, What is standing in your way? What is holding you back? What is keeping you from moving in your desired direction?

Even though we desire to change, nevertheless we may be stuck. Getting clearly focused on your own obstacles --those within you, and those outside you-- will stimulate energy for the change you desire to make. This is a finding from the research being done by Dr. Heidi Grant Halvorson.

Third, I would ask, What do you feel called to? What are your dreams about the impact you want to have on the world?

Do you have a calling? I believe that we all have one. Trouble is, many of us never hear it.

The question about calling has several aspects. One is actually about the 'where' aspect of your career. Where do you want to work? For someone else or for yourself? For a large company or a smaller one? Close to home or far away?

Another aspect of calling is 'for whom?' How many of us really think about the audience we want to reach or customer we want to serve?

And one more aspect of calling is 'with what effect?' Many of us are socialized to think that we work to make money. Full stop. We want to make a lot of money and so we gravitate to the for-profit realm. But that is not always the path to fulfillment.

The not-for-profit space may be the place where your gifts will do the most good. And bring you the most satisfaction.

The world of work is a much bigger landscape than we may imagine, with much more diversity and opportunity than we know.

If you, like the person whose plea started this meditation, are feeling burned out in your current job, maybe this is a good time for some soul searching with a few helpful questions.

Posted by Terrence Seamon on Friday October 12, 2012

Faith in the Future

There was a whole lot of good feeling, and welcome good news, yesterday at a special forum in the White House in Washington D.C. The purpose of the gathering was to shine the spotlight on the legion of faith-filled Americans who are trying to help the unemployed get back to work.

As one of the legion who is actively involved in this mission, I was invited by Ben Seigel of The White House Office of Faith-based and Neighborhood Partnerships to join U.S. Labor Secretary Hilda L. Solis at a White House Forum titled:

Job Clubs and Career Ministries: On the Front Lines of Getting Americans Back to Work


The room was packed with ordinary people from all over the country --including Florida, Rhode Island, California, New York, and Kentucky-- who are doing extraordinary things to help their neighbors find the way back to meaningful employment.

Participants included job club and ministry leaders, faith and community leaders, workforce development officials, nonprofit leaders, and others from across the country who are assisting job seekers and workers. It was great to meet people like Dan Lott from the Bayside Career Coaching ministry in Sacramento, California. Also present from New Jersey were John Fugazzie of Neighbors Helping Neighbors, and Anna Maria Miller, Director of Human Resources at The Bank of Princeton, an employer that hires talent from job clubs.

Over the course of the morning, the gathering of over 100 shared many emotional stories, about challenges, programs and successes, from all corners of America. What really came through from all the different regions and efforts was a strong sense of What Works:

Local efforts - The closer to the need, the better. As well-intentioned as government may be, the real innovations and successes are driven at the local level by ministries and community groups that are closest to the unemployed and their families. The local level is where the need is best understood and the programs have the biggest impact.

All hands on deck - If there was one phrase uttered more than any other it was "We can't do this alone." The only way to address this painful issue of unemployment is to get every stakeholder involved, especially the job seekers, program providers, schools, libraries, the community, and employers. In a word, partnerships.

Networking - Although we all knew this walking in the room, it became crystal clear that the key skill for job seekers is networking.

Getting connected with employers - One speaker, who founded the job clubs of Rhode Island, said that, while networking as a skill is vital, it's not enough. There must also be a way to connecting directly with the employers in the local area. Many other speakers echoed this, several recommending the establishment of Employer Councils to work directly with the job clubs.

And one more, of course:

The power of groups - Whatever you call them, wherever and whenever they meet, grouping for mutual support is the most important thing. There is strength in numbers. And job seekers need all the support and strength they can get.

It was this last item, grouping for job search support, that first brought me to Ben Seigel's attention when his team member Ashley Gerwitz requested a copy of the guide that Janice Lee Juvrud and I wrote back in 2009 to assist those who wanted to start a group in their local area.

Soon after we published our guide, it was recognized by Margaret Riley Dikel, publisher of The Riley Guide (one of the best internet resource sites for job hunters) as a recommended resource for areas lacking support groups.

Janice and I were well-positioned to author this guide because of how fortunate we and other job hunters are to live in the State of New Jersey. New Jersey is packed with support groups! It was the first state, back in 1989, to officially launch job search support groups. Originally called Professional Service Groups (PSGs), they were sponsored by the State Department of Labor as havens in the rough economy for anyone seeking employment.

What made the PSGs unique, and a national benchmark for such groups, was the idea of members helping other members. Anyone who joined a PSG was expected to join a subcommittee and volunteer some time each week to help run the PSG. The subcommittee work, while unpaid, was real work, and therefore considered as job experience. Today, some of the original PSGs are becoming non-profit organizations so that they can carry on this great legacy.

When my church, St Matthias in Somerset, NJ, decided to start an employment ministry, several of us brought the PSG spirit with us as we formulated our vision for outreach to the community.

Let's look ahead, with faith in the future, that working together we can help all Americans get back to work.

Posted by Terrence Seamon on Friday September 21, 2012

Past Vs Potential: We Have A Dilemma

Those of us who assist job seekers are very good at teaching the job search process and each of its various skills. These skills include networking, writing cover letters and resumes, and preparing for interviews.

Now we have a new and unexpected dilemma. There is a skill we have been missing. But thanks to some new research, now we have it in our sights.

At the end of August, Dr. Heidi Grant Halvorson published a piece online at the Harvard Business Review blog called "The Surprising Secret to Selling Yourself" which opens with this teaser paragraph:

"There is no shortage of advice out there on how to make a good impression — an impression good enough to land you a new job, score a promotion, or bring in that lucrative sales lead. Practice your pitch. Speak confidently, but not too quickly. Make eye contact. And for the love of Pete, don't be modest — highlight your accomplishments. After all, a person's track record of success (or a company's, for that matter) is the single most important factor in determining whether or not they get hired. Or is it?"

Calling upon recent research conducted at Harvard and Stanford, Halvorson says that we have an unconscious bias in favor of potential vs past accomplishments.

It appears, Halvorson surmises, that we find the candidate with potential to be more interesting, though more uncertain.

OK. This may take some time to digest. But the practical question is: How do we teach and prepare job hunters, especially those with considerable past success, to convey their potential?

Halvorson offers this general thought:

"All this suggests that you need a very different approach to selling
yourself than the one you intuitively take, because your intuitions are
probably wrong. People are much more impressed, whether they realize it or
not, by your potential than by your track record. It would be wise to start
focusing your pitch on your future, as an individual or as a company, rather
than on your past — even if that past is very impressive indeed. It's what
you could be that makes people sit up and take notice — learn to use the
power of potential to your advantage."

So, What is that different approach exactly? What does it mean, in practical terms, to sell based on your potential?

We know how to communicate our past accomplishments using PAR stories (Problem, Action, Results). Is there a formula for communicating future potential?

How about CASE?

Challenge - When asked a "What if" or "How would you handle" type of question, you have been given an opportunity to convey potential. Start by reframing the challenge you are hearing in the question.

Analysis - Any challenge situation will call for some analysis of what is actually going on, what the real need is, so offer a tentative assessment.

Strategy - Suggest a plan that would address the need.

Expectations - What would you expect the outcomes to be if the above proved successful?

What do you think? What would you suggest?

To Job Coaches reading this blog post: We have our work cut out for us. Let's get creative and come up with new tools to help our clients.

Posted by Terrence Seamon on Saturday September 15, 2012

Help! I Got An Interview!

The other day, someone that I've been coaching called me with good news: "I've got an interview!"

I was happy to hear that. So many persistent job hunters are out there, putting in the hours each day, but not getting the traction that they seek. So when an employer shows some interest in you, that's great.

She asked me if I had any interviewing suggestions. Here are a few of the tips I passed along.

Go in prepared - Preparation for an interview is perhaps the most important ingredient in the recipe for interview success. The better prepared you are, the better you will feel about yourself and your chances.

Preparation includes a number of things, especially: Know the Company. Know your Self and what you bring to the table. Know the Position you are interviewing for. And know the Questions you want to ask.

Manage your stress - Interviewing can be incredibly stressful. The performance anxiety can run high and even keep you from getting a good night's sleep the night before.

To reduce and manage this stress, there are a number of things to consider, especially: Keep yourself in good shape via walking, running, swimming, dancing or some other form of exercise. Be sure to eat right. Find your own serenity via such practices as prayer, meditation, t'ai chi chih, or yoga. Breathe deeply and intentionally, using self-affirming thoughts.

Be ready to sell - In an interview, you are selling a product. The product is You. Your pitch is that You are the answer to their prayers, the solution to their problems. You want to come across as someone they could not possibly do without.

Of course, the employer will decide whether you are the right person or not. But you can influence their decision by pitching your Product to their Needs. By being professional, poised, and positive throughout this sales process, you will do your best.

Keep your answers brief - Many of us have a tendency to over-answer in interviews. We blab away when we should just shut up and await the interviewer's next question.

If they ask you hypothetical questions (which typically start with "How would you..."), take a moment to think before answering. Describe the process you would use.

Show interest in them - There comes a Moment of Truth in every interview when the interviewer asks "Okay now it's your turn. What questions do you have for us?"

This is when your research and your prepared questions come to the fore. While some of your questions may get answered as the interview goes along, be ready to ask several more questions when invited.

Yes, a lot is riding on the interview. Experts say that the employer makes up their mind about you within the first few minutes. Don't worry too much about that. Remember that you are also making up your mind about them as an employer. This is a two-way decision.

Posted by Terrence H. Seamon on Tuesday July 31, 2012

Terrence is an organization development consultant who provides leadership and team development services to employers in New Jersey. His forthcoming book Lead the Way explores the challenges of leadership. Additionally, Terry is a job search and career coach whose book To Your Success provides a motivational guide for anyone in transition. An alumnus of PSG, Terry co-founded and co-moderates the St. Matthias Employment Ministry in Somerset, NJ. He can be reached at thseamon@yahoo.com and via his website: http://about.me/terrenceseamon

Be the Change Agent

My Job Hunter's Tip of the Day on LinkedIn today is: You are never not 'in transition.' Get used to it. Be the change.

Let's break that down.

Some years ago, the phrase "in transition" was coined to describe the condition of the unemployed. They had lost their prior job, and were seeking a new one.

In theater, actors that are auditioning will say they are "in between shows." In Hollywood, they say "in between films." For musicians, they say "in between gigs."

So, being "in between" jobs was described as being "in transition." Transiting, if you will, from one point to another.

Yet, when you think about the idea of being in transition, ask yourself this question: When are you never not in transition?

Too many negatives in that question? How about like this: In life, aren't we always in transition of one sort or another? For example, ageing. Every time we celebrate a birthday, it's a moment in time when we are marking a milestone in our ever-unfolding transition from birth to death.

So, in that sense, we are always in transition.

If you buy the above argument, then what are its implications for job hunters? Number One, when you land, don't make the mistake of thinking that transition is over. It isn't. It's just continuing to unfold as before.

In a practical sense, this means:

Keep on networking. Do not turn off your networking engine. So many job hunters make this mistake. Then, when the next downsizing occurs, they are caught flat-footed.

Stay vigilant. Continue to be on the lookout for opportunities in your field. You never know when you will need to make your next move.

Keep your resume current. At all times, do not let your resume gather dust. This point also applies to your LinkedIn profile. Talent hunters are still on the prowl and you want to be found, even if you are working.

Keep learning. Never stop exposing your mind to new ideas. Challenge your own comfort zone. Keep pushing your own limits.

One of the lessons many job hunters learn from the experience of being thrust into the nebulous land of "In Transition," is that whatever happens next is up to You. You make your own luck.

Be the change agent of your career and things will happen.

Terrence H. Seamon is an organization development consultant who provides leadership and team development services to employers in New Jersey. His forthcoming book Lead the Way explores the challenges of leadership. Additionally, Terry is a job search and career coach whose book To Your Success provides a motivational guide for anyone in transition. An alumnus of PSG, Terry co-founded and co-moderates the St. Matthias Employment Ministry in Somerset, NJ. He can be reached at thseamon@yahoo.com and via his website: http://about.me/terrenceseamon